Who Thrives in This Kind of Therapy
You might do well in my practice if you:
Have done therapy before but realize you didn't go deep enough
Are willing to learn to speak up, even though it feels unnatural or scary
Are open to practicing new ways of responding, even when it feels awkward
Want to learn to recognize when you're placating or performing—and choose differently
Are willing to sit with "I don't know how to do this" instead of pretending you do
Want transformation, not just symptom management
You don't need to already be good at these things. In fact, most people who come to me are terrible at them. The question is: are you willing to learn?
Red Flags That This Might Not Be the Right Fit
This work might not be right for you if:
You're looking for a therapist who will only validate and never challenge
You want someone to tell you everyone else is the problem
You're unwilling to consider that your story might be incomplete or one-sided
You withdraw or stop communicating when things get uncomfortable and aren't willing to work on that
You expect therapy to always feel comfortable and easy
You're primarily looking for diagnosis and medication management (I don't prescribe)
You're deeply attached to "you hurt my feelings" language and aren't open to exploring your own agency
The key difference isn't whether you're already "good at therapy." It's whether you're willing to get uncomfortable, make mistakes, and keep trying.
If you're reading this and thinking "that sounds scary but I want to try"—good. That's the spirit this work requires.
If you're thinking "I'm not willing to be challenged at all"—that's also useful information. There are therapists who offer gentler approaches, and that might be what you need right now.
What You'll Learn Here
Therapy with me isn't just about processing trauma. It's about learning skills that will change how you move through the world:
You'll learn to speak up when you disagree, when you're uncomfortable, when something doesn't feel right. At first this will feel "rude" or "difficult." Over time it will feel honest.
You'll learn to notice your patterns without immediately judging yourself for them. "Oh, I'm placating right now." "I'm shutting down." "I'm getting defensive." Noticing is the first step to choosing differently.
You'll learn to take ownership of your feelings instead of blaming others. Not "you made me angry" but "I felt angry." Not "you hurt me" but "I felt hurt." This shift gives you power over your emotional life.
You'll learn to tolerate discomfort without immediately trying to escape it, fix it, or make it go away. Sometimes discomfort is information. Sometimes it's just part of growth.
You'll learn to stay when your instinct is to run. To stay in the conversation. To stay in the relationship. To stay with yourself.
None of this will feel natural at first. You'll mess it up. You'll forget. You'll fall back into old patterns. That's okay—that's how learning works.
The Journey of Transformation
Here's what I've noticed about people who do this work:
At first, they're performing. They're being "good clients." They say what they think I want to hear. They hide their real reactions.
Then, they start noticing they're doing this. "Oh, I just said I'm fine when I'm not." "I just agreed with you but I don't actually agree." This noticing is uncomfortable but crucial.
Then, they start experimenting with being honest. Tentatively at first. "Actually, I don't think I agree with that." "I'm feeling really uncomfortable right now." It feels risky and awkward.
Then, it starts to feel less scary. They discover that honesty doesn't destroy the relationship—it actually deepens it. They start to trust that I can handle their real thoughts and feelings.
Then, they start applying this outside of therapy. With their partner. Their friends. Their family. They start showing up more authentically in the world.
This doesn't happen in three sessions. It's a gradual unfolding. But it's also the most liberating work you'll ever do.